I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
