I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
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