I could have mohawked her pubes.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
