i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Randomize
