I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
