i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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