you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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