you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
All the doctor said was why
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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