she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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