Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
