My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Randomize
