Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Let's get the cat blown out
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
