in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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