when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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