Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
