don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
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