next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
