Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
