you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
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