Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize
