She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
