Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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