hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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