True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
