he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Randomize
