Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Randomize
