Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
We are two peas in an std pod
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
