I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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