I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
