I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Randomize
