So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Randomize
