The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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