I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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