I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
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