You're so nebulous sometimes
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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