I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Randomize
