She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
