She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
