I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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