On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
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