BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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