Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I AM VODKA MAN
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
