Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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