Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
