You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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