Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
