fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
i think my cat just said my name.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
