you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
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