Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Randomize
