i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
