She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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