He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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