I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
i need some magic done to my vagina
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
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